Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
I think I've stopped dissolving. My painting has gone through as many transformations as my flighty horoscope-gemini-mood-moon-calendar! First I was too illustrative, then unbearably dark and shadowy. A frustrated brainless attack left the paintings a surface victim. Now, after today, I find the line and color are resolving themselves. In my own life I am starting to feel less the protagonist in a dramatic short story, not as much in the guilt ridden shadows, and actually, eventually, more substantial and brilliant. It took measures such as confessional tea dates with very patient girlfriends, driving across states to help a bigger cause, spending time rooted with siblings, working the gratitude list, crying salty oceans, and telling myself over and over that I forgive me. I forgive me. I didn't do it perfectly, but I can believe in more joy.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Boarding on a plane last week a passenger startled me when he asked me what I knew about Noah's Ark. I answered, a little more rudely than normal, "Why do you want to know?!"
The reality was that that very subject was hanging over my head.
I was faced with a slew of scheduling challenges that left me one sunny cloudless day with the huge task of building an ark for a production of Noah's Ark and the local theater. Here is the work in process... See what you can do with 4 hours, some cardboard, a glue gun, wire, and black paint? I will post finished version when I reshoot at a rehearsal next week...
Back to the passenger. The next question was if I knew what kind of light Noah had on the ark.
A flood light.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
I am surprised I have a shadow for to do so, I must have substance. I feel vaporous.
So depressed about my children and their choices. I am powerless.
Who am I if I am not their mother anymore?
I threw down maps....
I am nothing but tracks between places I have been...